I know i should've updated my blog ages ago but... *excuses excuses excuses...* eheh. (^.^*)
I know also that i should be writing a more heartfelt or at least sentimental post to commemerate the ending of my AUSMAT course.
I know all that,
and i'll prolly do it later.
There's so many things i'd like to say to my coursemates! :) hoho.
But for now,
I just feel like writing. yaknow?
Writing something, anything-- in this moment right here right now.
I'll probably be the last person to leave this house, since now there's only me and Tati left. And her parents are coming in a few minutes..
My room's all empty excluding my pillows and laptop-- and I feel so serene i don't know why. I'm happy to be coming home and seeing my family but another part of me cries silently inside.
I'm gonna say the most obvious and hideously cliched thing about this place-- I'm going to miss it. Everything about it--
The people, OF COURSE
My bed, oh so definitely
The cats (named sexy and gorgeous) , for sure
The pak guard baik, (Ya, you know which one.. hahahahaha)
The park (ehh.. not so much)
The dog who used to stalk me, i'll always think of you
One Utama, for the food court nasi ayam
and last but not least,
KBU, just; for everything.
I couldn't have imagined the house being so quiet and EMPTY as it is now. It's all very surreal..
It's hard to believe i'm actually leaving this place; for good. Actually i still can't get over the fact that i've finished AUSMAT even. haha. Everything's just so unbelievable to me-- especially events in these last couple of days. For instance the gala night dinner, and the graduation ceremony.
They were all wonderful - but always, in both events; tinged with sadness.
Because despite the fact that THIS was the sweet release we've all been waiting for--the finish line of a long and hard-fought war/marathon--we know we're going to miss it.
Saying goodbye to AUSMAT is like saying goodbye to an old friend. A difficult, annoying, unreasonable friend; but a friend nevertheless. One which have taught us a lot-- not only about Chemistry, Physics, English, Maths, and Economics--- but also, most importantly about life.
I don't know any AUSMAT student who has't been changed or at least moved by this course.
The seniors told us it would be diffcult, but of course we didn't notice. We heard them but we never really listened, did we? We thought we could do it, but we never really knew what we were in for. Haha.
AUSMAT has made me cry so many times i lost count already. (*-.-) Hurah. Haha. I used to be a cheerful person but AUSMAT changed that--i think in some ways i become more emo and less optimistic than before. But eventually the hardships i faced in this course made me stronger, until eventually in the final leg i didn't even feel sad that i got bad marks despite the hard work.
It was really a growing up phase for me. AUSMAT made me grow up a lot--especially in terms of picking myself up and going for it all over again. Because eventually you realise there's no point in mourning over what's already happened, the best step is to dust off the dirt and start running again.
What's funny is you always hear that and you think "oh yeah, just pick myself up again. Got it". But obviously it's easier said than done. You say that, but you can never really know how you'd react unless you're experiencing it yourself. It's harder when you're the one in hot water. Really it is.
I also learned a lot about myself throughout this course; how i'd react in certain situations, what kind of learner I am, how easily agitated i am, how patient i am, how bold i am, how stupid i am.. and so many more. And for that i'm forever thankful to AUSMAT.
Despite all the tears, i wouldn't change a thing. Nope, not a single thing.
Goodbye room no. 5, goodbye house 69, goodbye AUSMAT.
I'll miss you and thanks for the spank in the as$ and the push to succeed.
;)
I'll lock the door now.
